They say that week 3 is always the hardest week. Well, that was proved true for me on this trip. Because a lot of our team was sick & exhausted from working very hard the first two weeks, we didn’t do construction at all the 3rd week. This means we were either on house (helping with cooking & cleaning) or children duty. Well, let’s just say it got boring really quick. We had a lot of down time and a lot of us started to get antsy. Because of this, I started to truly question my purpose of being here. I felt very ineffective, wondering if I was even making a difference. I started to think about how I spent so much money to come to this country to serve in ways I can’t in the states and instead I’m “trapped” inside a compound doing the same things over and over again. I struggled with my effectiveness in the classroom because I feel as though the kids behave better when we aren’t in there. I wasn’t able to understand how doing dishes or cutting vegetables was really making a lasting impact. Well, if you haven’t already noticed, everything I just said is all about me. But my mom reminded me, it’s not about me at all! I am here to serve. To serve God. To serve this ministry. To serve my team. After receiving that gentle reminder, God spoke to me in a really cool way during one of our team meetings. We all got in a circle and closed our eyes. Our leader would tap one of us on the shoulder and we would go into the middle of the circle. And then everybody else, still with their eyes shut and not knowing who was in the middle, would say the first thing that came to their mind or whatever they felt like God was laying on their hearts. When I was tapped, I stepped in the middle, and the first thing someone said was “mountain-mover.” I was blown away. All I’ve been thinking about the past few days was how I felt so ineffective and that I wasn’t even making a difference. I will never know the lasting impact that I, and the rest of my team, is making on this ministry. It may seem like we aren’t doing that much some days, but the reality is God is so much bigger than we can ever imagine. He is bigger than the box that I always put Him in. He can use me doing dishes in a 4-walled compound in Talanga, Honduras to move mountains. I may never see the mountains move, but I must trust that they are. So the point is, it’s not about me. As long as I humble myself and obey to serve where I am called, God will use me in ways I never expected!
